Jay Kenneth Ross

Jay Kenneth Ross passed away on August 20, 2022 at the age of 62.

Jay was born prematurely on December 7, 1959, at Horton hospital in Middletown, NY, to Jack and Doris Ross. However, despite being born on the 7th he was not brought home from the hospital until late December; a fact he would continually use to poke fun at his mother and tease that she “Just didn’t want to buy extra presents”.

Jay is survived by his wife; Stacey Ross who was the love of his life, his daughters; Ashley Murray (Nick Murray) and Rebecca Ross Deyo, Mother in Law; Shirley Smith, his four Grandchildren; Tanner Murray, Deegan Deyo, Easton Murray, and Freya Murray, his loving Sister; Diane Myers (Michael Myers), two nephews; Ryan Myers (Jessica Myers), Sean Myers, two Nieces; Lara Nowicki (Brian Nowicki), Dr. Kate Woll (Dr. Chris Woll), and many, many Friends. Residing at home is his African Grey parrot “Pepper” who made Jay laugh every day with her “Colorful” language that sounds exactly like Jay and “Murphy” his English Cocker Spaniel.

Jay was a lifelong resident of Wallkill, NY and served the Hamlet of Wallkill community in multiple agencies. He spent the majority of his career as a Correctional Officer at Wallkill Correctional Facility. He was a member of the Wallkill Fire Department where he served as a past Lieutenant, Captain, Chief Driver, President, Member of the Benevolent Board, and Fire Commissioner.  Other notable employments include Police Dispatcher for the Shawangunk Police Department, Court Officer for Town of Shawangunk Court, “Friendly Greeter of the Bereaved” at Millspaugh funeral homes, Superintendent of the New Hurley Cemetery, and “multitalented jack of all trades” at Napa Autoparts in Gardiner. It was at Napa where he found his favorite post-retirement job working side by side with Paul and Lenora Metrando.

Jay was a great friend to everyone and the first to help at the drop of a hat despite rarely asking or accepting help for himself. Throughout the years Jay developed several lifelong friendships who were stronger than brothers.  He and James Droney III have been best friends for 52 years!  They were best men at each others weddings and Godfathers to each of their first born children. They had an abundance of memories throughout the years, but they always cherished the good times of hanging out above the frozen food section at the Thruway market where they both worked as teenagers.

Jay met George Badillo and Dave McMahon while employed at Wallkill Correctional Facility and became quick friends as they tormented their coworkers with a myriad of pranks. It made the stress of the job bearable. George and Jay were best friends who knew they were always there for each other. Their families vacationed together and made wonderful memories. Likewise, Jay and Dave were best friends whose families also vacationed together. They are Godfathers to each of their second born children who grew up playing together and remain close to this day.

It was no secret that Jay lived for the time spent with his family and would proudly proclaim that all he needed was his “Three girls”. He was the BEST GOD-DAMN Husband, Father, and Papa. If any of his family needed anything he was the first one to help without question. He was affectionately nicknamed “Mr. Fix It” because there wasn’t anything he couldn’t fix. It was a natural skill he possessed and with his trusty ipad, any User Manual or Youtube video would help him research what he needed.

Although he was a busy man with various responsibilities he was never too busy to make it to something that was important to his wife or kids and he was excited to be part of anything that excited them. He was never a big fan of the Christmas season but miraculously somehow, every Christmas that he had to work, Santa would come extra early so he and Stacey could wake up their girls and have them open their gifts before he needed to go. Jay and Santa even enjoyed the same cookies! and Santa always left notes for them…..interestingly very similar to Daddy’s handwriting!

He enjoyed animals, though he would never admit it. When his wife decided to bring home an African Grey Parrot (Pepper) he did what any good husband would do and instilled in Pepper a broad educational spectrum of colorful language. For a few summers he would sit out on the patio and keep an eye on his daughter’s pet duck while it swam in the duck pool.

Jay always found the humor in any situation with his hysterically funny quick wit; having his family and friends laughing for hours no matter the situation.

He had a wide array of interests and hobbies. He was an avid fan of trains and the RJ Corman Railroad. He loved Jeep Willys and had two he was building. He recently dabbled in aviation with his drone, having been taught by his friend Rick Olsen.

He once joked that when he passes, he prefers to be stuffed with his middle finger up. Due to the law and a sense of morality the family had to opt for cremation instead.

His family and friends will always miss him dearly, but it is at this time that they take comfort in some of the wisdom he left behind throughout the years.

Top 15 Jay Ross Quotes

“You people and your dogs”- often said to his wife and kids when he was outnumbered in a disagreement.
“It’s like they’re all competing to have the ugliest boyfriend. They just keep getting worse with each one that comes through the door.”
“Where did you buy that sideways hat? I can only ever find ones that face forward!”
“Have fun, be safe, don’t stay out too late, remember it’s a school night” - Said to his 27 year old daughter anytime she left the house.
“I wasn’t sleeping, I was counting my eyelashes”
“Babe, I’m not stopping to ask them for directions; they’re stripping a car, I’m not even sure I’m stopping for this red light.”  Lost in NYC on the way to (The Cars Concert)
“We watch Dr. Pol, give me a straw and a needle I could fix that with my eyes closed”- or “Put a Trocar in that cow!” Anytime an animal needed to go to the vet.
“Your the harsh wind that snapped my twig!”
“You don’t need glasses…just look through an olive to help your eye focus!”
“I only need a ziplock bag for vacation, I just need my thong and toothbrush.”
“Yup…She wants me”…Jay about any female that might have been slightly nice to him.
“Stick and move people, stick and move. You can come back for seconds!” Jay regarding buffet guests that weren’t moving at his desired pace.
“Just keep in mind that I already spent 30 years in a prison, I don’t have problem doing a few more with you and I have friends there.”
“Who wants to watch S.W.A.T.?” A phrase that must have been repeated MILLIONS of times throughout the years. He would even hum the theme song to convince his family to watch it again.
“I think it’s going to be a Fireball night.” For all of us Jay, for all of us…

Visitation will be Thursday, August 25, 2022, 4:00 – 7:00 PM at Millspaugh Funeral Home, 22 Bank St. Walden, NY. Funeral services will be private.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the charity of one's choice. 

Jay's family would greatly appreciate your memories of Jay. Please send your stories to memoriesofjayross@gmail.com.

To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Jay Kenneth Ross, please visit our floral store.